Heaven isn't a place on earth
by Emme019
Summary: This story explains why Alex was saying "Izzie" when talking to Lexie on the day he got shot. The story is better than the summary, I don't know how else to sum it up. Just read it and review please.


**Author's note: This is my first Alex/Izzie fanfiction. English is not my native language, keep that in mind. I'm quite satisfied with this story, hopefully so are you. Please leave a review, it would mean a lot to me. Also, this takes place during the shooting, which you would know if you know the lines by heart (just like me).**

"Dude, what the –"

He felt a piercing pain in his chest. Well, he didn't actually know where the pain exactly came from but his whole chest hurt while he felt his scrubs getting wet. He was bleeding. Hell, this old man shot him! He SHOT him! He shot Reed! What the hell!

He didn't see the guy anymore, he just knew he left because there was only silence filling the room. Silence, while he was gasping for air and looking at Reed. She couldn't be dead, she just couldn't. He liked her. He never said it but he really liked her. They could've been friends. And now she's dead. Who else is dead? He had to find Meredith and Cristina. Please, let them be alive, please. They're the only ones left, the only ones who cared about him, his only friends. Oh god, it hurt. Crawling to the elevator made him want to vomit but he had to move, he had to reach it, he couldn't stay there. Shit, the button, it was too high. Shit. Come on Karev, don't die. Lifting his arm to reach the button was agonizingly painful but he did it. With his last strength, he pulled himself into the cabin. Finally. Someone would find him. Please, let someone need the elevator and find him.

While he was lying there, bathing in pool of blood, he prayed. For the first time in his life, he really prayed. Prayed for help. When help didn't come, he prayed for something like salvation. He had done a lot of bad things, wrong things. He had treated too many girls like crap, had beaten up his old man (even though he kinda deserved it), hadn't been there for his brother and sister when they needed him… But the biggest mistake he made was Izzie. Not the relationship or the marriage, those were the good things, but the cheating, the fighting, the turning away from her when she came back. He had never regretted anything so much and now that he realized that, it was too late. He was dying, he could feel it.

Fingertips touched his face, very lightly. He opened his eyes and tried to see who it was but shimmering lights blinded him. He blinked several times and finally, an image started to form. An image with curls around the face, a shade of pink in the corner of his eye, hazel eyes staring into his. He felt warm and cozy. He liked the softness of her hands, always did. "Alex" she said, "Alex what are you doing here?". He sat up and looked around. They were in the conference room and he was lying on the table, without blood surrounding him. "Izzie –" He looked at her. Her hair had grown but not as much as he imaged it had. God, had he missed her! She was still looking at him with big, sad eyes. He suddenly saw a tear glistening in one of them and when she realized it herself, she turned around. "Iz, I'm sorry. Don't go. We got married. Please don't go." She looked at him. "_I'm not going anywhere._" He didn't notice her mouth hadn't opened so he continued. "You came back for me. Izzie!" Now she responded. "No Alex, I didn't". "_I came back for you_". He blinked. His mind was fooling him. He heard Izzie's voice and Lexie's too, saying opposite things. He saw Izzie turning away again. "Don't ever leave me. Don't ever leave me again!". "_I won't. I won't ever leave you. We're always gonna be together okay? Always._". "Alex I didn't come back! You have to understand, this isn't real! I mean, it is real but it isn't too!" Alex stumbled backwards, covering his ears with his hands and watching her with wide eyes. What the hell was going on? Why was he hearing Lexie when she wasn't even in the room? "Iz, what's going on? What is happening to me?" he screamed. In a few steps she was standing in front of him, her hands on his face. "Alex," she said, tears running down her face, "Alex you have to go again!" He still had no clue about what was going on but he sure as hell knew he wasn't going anywhere without her! "No, I'll never leave you again Iz, didn't you just hear me? Never, okay?" She cried for real now, with sobs that made his heart ache. "Iz, what's wrong? You're here now, we're together again. Why are you crying?" She just shook her head, curls flying around and sticking to her face. She looked to her left, through the window of the room. His jaw fell down when he followed her gaze. Oh my G –. "Iz, why is Denny Duquette standing in the hallway? And… And why is Reed standing there? IZZIE! Wh –? Reed's dead! SHE'S DEAD! Why are they all standing there?" He stumbled over his words, panic was racing though his body, his hands were clamping Izzie's arms. "Alex! Don't you get it? You have to leave this place, go back!" she screamed, still crying her heart out. "Go back where! Back wh– ?" He suddenly got it. No. No, this can't be. Impossible! He stared into her eyes. Off course. If she's here, then it must be what he thought it was. Heaven. "Izzie, is this… Is this heaven?" She didn't have to say anything, he could read it in her eyes. "But… But how… I don't understand…" he stammered while trying to get it, trying to see the bigger picture but he couldn't see it. He needed her help. She caught the begging glimpse in his eyes and took his hand to lead him to a chair. She would explain. He deserved that. "Alex, you were hearing Lexie a couple minutes ago, right?" she asked. He just nodded. "She and Mark found you in the elevator. You passed out in there and they found you and they're fixing you up. You're floating between life and death now. They're doing everything they can but they cannot do it alone. You have to make an effort too to stay alive. You have to go back, you see?" She waited patiently until he responded. "I understand, I guess. It's kinda impossible but I understand. But why are you here, Izzie? Is this because when I die, I get to go to Heaven, you know, where I'm happy forever and can be with my eternal love and all that crap? Is this why you're here? Are you my guardian angel or something?" She took both his hands in hers, tears dripping on them. "No Alex, I …" She paused for a minute, waiting for him to see it, to realize it. "You what, Iz?" "Alex, I died last month." She said it with a soft voice but it sounded like a gunshot in his ears. "What? No, your cancer was gone. You were healthy. You had the rest of your life in front of you! Iz, you can't have died!" She heard the desperate need in his voice. She couldn't say what he wanted to hear, she couldn't lie to him. He was her love, the love of her life. And now, the love of her death too. She saw he got it, that he believed her now. Tears started flooding his eyes too, his hands clung to her shirt, stroked her hair and cheeks while whispering her name over and over again. She started laughing while crying. "You wanna know the irony of it all? I got run over by a car here in Seattle on my way to the hospital. I wanted to come see you to ask you something. I was coming back to ask you if I could have a baby with you, you know, from the cup you snoozed in? I was coming back and got run over by a car!" He cupped her face and kissed her. Lips and tears mingled and still, it felt perfect. Yet it felt so wrong, so messed up. Both of them knew they were meant for each other, that they belonged together, that their story wasn't done yet. But the rest of their story never got told. Izzie was dead and Alex was on the verge of. They were kissing but both felt the thin line that was separating them. "Iz," Alex said while breaking the kiss, "Iz, I have an idea. I'm not gonna fight, I'll just stay here, with you. I love you, always did, always will. Let me stay. Let me stay, Iz!" His voice grew more desperate when he saw her shaking her head. "Alex, you cannot die for me! You have to live, your life isn't over yet!" "Yours wasn't either!" he screamed. "Yes it was. The minute I walked out of the hospital after we broke up, my life was over." They were still holding each other, not wanting to let go yet. "Go back Alex. I love you, I do. Just go back and live your life and remember our happy times. Know that I'll always love you, okay?" She had to let him go. Someday, they would be together again, but not now. He knew that too. He understood. They always understood each other when they needed to. "I love you Iz. So much. I'll never forget you, remember that." They kissed for the last time. Their next one would be when his time came too. "Iz, I love you so much, please remember that!" "Karev? I didn't hear it, what did you say?" Marks Sloans voice echoed in his ears. "Nothing" Alex said. Izzie will have heard it. She always did.


End file.
